His Promises are True

I sit here in the library as the girls read and play, casually thumbing through social media and catching up on emails. I come across this article and unexpectedly, tears sting my eyes and my heart is overwhelmed with His love. 

I was painting in the garage, and she was drawing a rainbow on the cement floor with chalk when she said, “I’m glad God gave me you to me as my Mommy.”
I wasn’t ready for it. “What?” I asked, making sure I heard her right. She tried to say it again, but her words came out a little more awkward this time, and she said something like, “I’m happy your’e my mommy from God.”
Tears filled my eyes.
Then she prayed, “God, thank you for giving my mommy to me. And thank you (I couldn’t understand this part.) And thank you, she makes me breakfast. And thank you we’re going to make pumpkin spagotti (biscotti). I hope it tastes good. Do you think it will taste good, God?”
Then she opened her eyes, and went back to drawing her chalk mural–while my eyes blurred with tears, and a huge lump came to my throat. Where did that come from?
She’s three…and I didn’t know her little heart could hold such gratitude. Or that it would just burst out of her, during this subtle moment in the garage. Or that she would thank God, outloud, for me, right then.
Usually, she doesn’t even want to pray out loud–even with me encouraging her. But today she felt something inside her.
Something beautiful.
Her little heart can hold more love than I often know.
Her little mind…is not so little as I think it is. She thinks far beyond what I would expect.
“Thank you, Selah,” I said, smiling. “I’m so glad God gave me you as my daughter.”
I would have hugged her right then, if my hands didn’t have white paint on them, and if there wasn’t so much junk between us on the floor. The drawers I was painting, and an old wooden chair.
“Did you have to wait a long time for me Mom?” she asked. (I have told her the story many times, but she wanted to hear it again.)
I stepped across the junk on the floor and came a little closer to her. “Yes,” I said. “I asked God for a baby over and over again. But He didn’t give me one for a long time.”
“And when me and Daddy found out you were in my tummy, we were so happy!” I told her.
“Do you know why God took so long to give you a baby?” she said.
“No, honey,” I said. “I don’t know.”
“I know why,” she said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because…He was making me,” she said.
He was making me.
I looked into her deep blue eyes, that seemed to know something from another world, and her blonde tossled hair russled in the breeze. And in that moment, she seemed a thousand years old.
He was making me. 
And that answer was enough. And my heart resounded with the truth of it, “Of course He was. Of course, that’s exactly what He was doing, Dear One.”
Because now that I know her, and know how special she is–it only makes sense, that it took so long. I don’t know what God was doing with her up there. There is just something about her, that seems as if she spent a long time on God’s chest before coming to mine. Almost as if heaven didn’t want to give her up.
And I say this with tears, to you, barren ones…
Who are waiting for your baby prayers to be answered.
Who are praying every day for God to give you a baby. To give you life.
I don’t know why it’s taking so long. 
I don’t know if He will give you a child through your womb, or through foster care, or adoption.
But either way…if you are waiting right now, and you don’t know why it’s taking so long.
Maybe it’s because God, the Maker and Giver of Life and every living thing…is still in the process of making your baby.
We can’t even begin to comprehend what is happening in the heavenlies, in the unseen, and what, or who He is forming. 
His ways are not like ours. His timing is not like ours.
And perhaps if He’s moving so slowly, and He’s taking so long… It’s because He’s forming something so breathtaking and beautiful…it cannot be rushed.
He is in the process of forming a masterpiece. 
And maybe one day, a little masterpiece will stand before you and say, “I know why God took so long to give you a baby.”
And you will say, “Why?”
And they will say,
He was making me.” 

Repost from http://barrentobeautiful.com/2016/09/21/why-god-took-so-long-to-give-me-a-baby/

As I look at our beautiful girls, the ones God has entrusted us to care for and love. The ones who have brought such joy and healing into our lives. I am reminded.. His promises are true.

As we consider the future of our family, specifically future adoptions, I now know that already God has planned for those children to be in our arms. His promises are true. 

As we pray for my barren womb.. Even though days of prayer have turned into years, and sometimes we forget this one the most. I remember, that God has given us a promise of healing. His promises are true.

On this side of heaven, there are so many things we believe for in faith.. Some of which we will see realized in the land of the living, and some when we meet Him face to face. But most of all, we wait for His return and that promise that we will one day be in Heaven with our heavenly Father. None of our minor or major sufferings on earth will be done in vain. It will all bring us closer to the heart of our Father, as we look to Him, as we rely on Him.. the One who suffered the greatest to rescue His beloved.

 “For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.” 2 Corinthians 1:20

Celebrating Birth Mothers

As Mother’s Day rolls around, I’m always struck with emotion and thanksgiving knowing that I am a mother because of two women whom I will never know, who carried and gave birth to my daughters. We don’t know the story behind their circumstances but we know that our girls were loved and given a chance at life because of their mothers’ sacrificial love. Wherever you are, mamas..  thank you. 

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women,

Who never knew each other.

One you do not remember,

The other you call Mother.

Two different lives,

Shaped to make you one.

One became your guiding star,

The other became your sun.

The first one gave you life,

And the second taught you to live it.

The first gave you a need for love,

The second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality,

The other gave you a name.

One gave you a talent,

The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions,

The other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile,

The other dried your tears.

One sought for you a home that she could not provide,

The other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.

And now you ask me through your tears,

The age old question, unanswered through the years.

Heredity or environment,

Which are you a product of?

Neither my darling, Neither;

Just two different kinds of love.

Healed + Set Free

But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good….”   Gen.  50:20

13116027_286888128309316_3159025803932929869_oThere is nothing more dangerous than a child of God, healed and set free from the oppression of darkness that Satan intended for their destruction. The Lord has come to my rescue. There is no anger in me. There is no depression or anxiety. There is peace in my bones. I am a new creation. My heart is overflowing with gratitude and is fully alive in Him. My eyes have been renewed and are filled with love. I can see so clearly where I had been so misled and misguided, having believed in the lies of the enemy and having partnered with hopelessness. I can now see visions of my future, my family’s future, and the lives of so many advancing of the Kingdom of the God.

For anyone walking in the valley, understand that the Lord will use this time to strengthen your frame. While you are in the darkness, He has not left – even if He feels far away. Even when we are faithless, He is faithful. Satan is scared, terrified of what you will accomplish in this life for Jesus. Even when we feel like darkness is winning over us, Christ is fighting our battles for us. He has the victory, friends. Let us be still in Him and silence the lies of the enemy. Thank you, Jesus. You make all things new!

Isaiah 54:1-3

“Sing, O barren one, who did not bear;
    break forth into singing and cry aloud,
    you who have not been in labor!
For the children of the desolate one will be more
    than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord.
“Enlarge the place of your tent,
    and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out;
do not hold back; lengthen your cords
    and strengthen your stakes.
For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left,
    and your offspring will possess the nations
    and will people the desolate cities.