Life here in Zhengzhou feels like we are in a little Hoang family bubble with a bunch of other families going through the same motions as us. :) We’d like to say it has been easy but it’s been a little tough. Yesterday after completing our rounds of paperwork to complete and finalize the adoption, we went to Ruthie’s hometown and her orphanage. Since being with us, Ruthie has clung to her daddy with all her might. She calls for him when he is in the bathroom or when he steps out of the room for any reason. She won’t let me hold her or do anything for her just yet. We realized that she has a strong connection to her foster mom so maybe she just wasn’t ready yet.. It still it made us both sad but even more sad for Ruthie for all that she’s been through in this short time. There have been many tears of joy and sadness these past few days. We remember Psalm 121 where the Lord tells us that He alone is where our help comes from.. And how the love of Jesus looks so different than the world.. And to love one who doesn’t love us, is what Jesus calls us to and does for us daily. The love of God overflows and helps us when we have no strength, no strategy. Love isn’t always easy but it’s always God. We are so thankful that God chose us to be parents to this beautiful one.
When we got to the orphanage, about two hours away from Zhengzhou in Luoyang city, we learned that Ruthie had been sent to the orphanage by her foster mom just one week before Gotcha day. When her foster mom dropped her off, she was crying uncontrollably and Ruthie told her not to cry and was very strong for her foster mom. Ruthie told her that she would be okay and willingly followed the caretaker into the orphanage. We learned that Ruthie is one always looking out for others and one who is so caring and concerned for their well being. (Tear!)
When we drove up to the orphanage building, it set off emotions in Ruthie and she started to cry out for her mama. She remembered the day she was dropped off and she thought she was going to be left there again. It was so heartbreaking to see.. But Lam was able to calm her as he held her and stroked her hair. Ruthie even followed Lam into the bathroom because she was so scared he would leave her!
I’ve learned recently through the community of adoptive mamas, that all this is quite normal and that a lot of times children just need time.. Time to trust, learn, and love. For Ruthie, she was a blessed one, to have had the love of a mother for many years of her life! We just pray for this transition (it’s been so much in just these past two weeks!), that Ruthie will begin to understand both of our love for her and that this love would heal up anything in her heart that needs mending.
When we were leaving in the elevator, the door opened on one floor and a bunch of Ruthie’s friends stood there greeting her in her Chinese name, oh my goodness it was the cutest thing ever!
The Luoyang City orphanage has many floors and is huge. Over 500 children are housed there and as we walked by the rooms, we saw babies lying on the floor, maybe 8-10 Babies and one or two caretakers in the rooms. Most of the babies just laid there, some were crawling about. We saw babies put in little wagons being taken to another floor on the elevator and it wrecked us to see. In America, we see babies in strollers but here we saw about 5 babies laying down in a wagon to get from one area to the next. :(Across from the orphanage is a beautiful building with blue skies and clouds painted on it. We were told that this was a baby NICU for severe issues, where many babies pass away. I’m tearing even as I write this. We wish we could do more, we wish everyone could have seen what we saw.. We pray for the caretakers and the children. We are so saddened by the orphan crisis here in China. It’s not that everyone want to throw away their kids with disabilities, more often it’s that they do not have money to pay for the health expenses and know they’ll be better cared for in orphanages where the children would have the chance of being adopted. Please join us in praying. ❤️
Here are some photos from yesterday ❤️